


Daylight

by towardstheair



Series: Dark Series [4]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 20:24:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towardstheair/pseuds/towardstheair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam got tired of waiting for his sunrise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daylight

Adam doesn't think about Kris much at all. He is far too busy with tour rehearsals and preparing himself for being away from his friends for so long. He has literally no time to let his mind wander. It's been the same since tour ended, really. He finds that when he is distracted by so many other things, the effect Kris used to have on him fades as they remain apart.

 

So it's easy really. As long as he is nowhere near Kris at all he can almost forget that anything ever happened at all.

 

Of course, life isn't always so kind. Over the past year Adam finds himself face to face with Kris Allen in unavoidable scenarios. He is not an awkward person at all, and even the small, brief moments he has ever felt it he has easily put a smile on his face and acted like he was completely comfortable. Unfortunately, Kris seems to be able to see through all of his bullshit.

 

So when the camera's stop flashing and they are no longer surrounded by a crowd of people, there is nothing for them to do, except talk. Kris won't shut up. He rambles on about what he has been doing since the last time they saw each other. Acting as if the months they spent together never happened, acting as if he didn't initiate this whole thing. He kind of wants to know what Kris's secret is to keeping so cool. He doesn't seem to be showing any sign of anger, sadness, awkwardness, outrage or pain. But all Adam can do is feel all those things all at once.

 

“Adam?” Kris smiles at him knowingly, the fact that Adam hasn't been listening apparently hasn't gone unnoticed.

 

“I... I have to go.” Adam mutters it lamely and turns and walks away ignoring Kris's calls behind him. He really isn't usually such a coward. If he wants something he just goes for it. He is upfront and honest, he knows he is. It's a trait his friends always say they love about him. Even Kris has said that to him before. But now he just feels like a fraud.

 

This is why he really hadn't wanted to come to Idol. It made him feel sad and nostalgic just the thought of them all being back together again, everything the same and everything completely different. He has never avoided a party before and he never normally makes excuses but he found that with this, he wanted to. It was only Anoop's text message not giving him any choice on the matter as to why he is here.

 

He walks determinedly away from the small green room in which he found himself alone with Kris; he doesn't get before he realises he has no idea where he is going. In fact he is pretty sure he is lost. Shit. He is never going to listen to Anoop ever again. From now on if something even feels slightly wrong he is going to listen to that inner voice and stay at home, avoiding.

 

“You're going the wrong way you know?”

 

Kris is one of those people who doesn't really understand when people are giving him the hint that they want to be alone, so its exactly the reason he has followed Adam. When Adam turns Kris still has the same small smile on his face as before, his hands in his pockets and is there ever a point when he doesn't look so cute it makes Adam want to cry?

 

“You kinda ran out on me in there...” Kris walks towards him slowly, he knows Adam is a flight risk now so he probably thinks walking slowly will lessen the chance of Adam running away. But where exactly is Adam going to go? He has no idea where he is.

 

“I don't see you for months and you run away from me?” Kris is doing that sad eyed puppy dog thing and it really isn't fair when Adam had been doing so well as to not remember all of Kris's different expressions. He spent a very long time trying to block them all out of his memory. Clearly he has failed. Miserably.

 

“Are you going to talk to me?”

 

No. I wasn't planning on it. He would never actually say that, because that would result in Kris's heartbroken, about to cry face and that is certainly something Adam could not handle.

 

Adam shrugs. “I don't know what to say.”

 

“Since when have you and me not been able to talk to each other?”

 

Adam laughs bitterly. “Oh I don't know, how about since you kissed me in the black-out and then stomped out my heart on a daily basis by telling me to wait for you and I did and then you left me and said you couldn't do this and I had to get my shit together and act like my whole world wasn't falling apart around me?”

 

He can't breathe by the time he is finished, mostly because he forgot to breathe and Kris is looking at him with that heartbroken, about to cry face and shit, that was the one he was trying to avoid. He steps closer to Kris, ready to apologise. What for he has no idea because everything he said was the truth. But they both made a promise not to bring it up again and Adam pretty much just broke it on all kinds of levels.

 

“Please don't apologise.” Kris sure looks awkward now and great. Way to make them both feel uncomfortable.

 

“Okay, I won't.”

 

“You never told me any of that.”

 

“Well you never asked and you told me not to talk about it.” Adam doesn't like the anger in his voice, but its been bottled up for months now, waiting to leave him and he isn't entirely sure he can keep it in check.

 

“I fucked up didn't I?”

 

Adam shakes his head. “It's not just you. I knew what I was getting into. I never should have...”

 

“Don't... don't wish what happened between us away. I don't regret any of it. Not for a second.”

 

Adam doesn't want to hear Kris say things like that. It would make things so much easier if Kris could just be an ass-hole about it. If he would say that he used Adam for comfort during their time on Idol, that he was curious and he found someone who was willing to explore that with him and he got everything he wanted out of it and now he is done. But Adam knows Kris. They both know it was more than that.

 

“Katy's going back to Arkansas.”

 

“That's nice.”

 

Kris nods. Talking about Katy was never something either of them were good at. She was a no go area. If they didn't talk about her she didn't exist. A lot of the time it bothered Adam how easy it was for Kris to act like she didn't. But he never pushed it, because he knew he would never get an answer. Not one that satisfied him anyway.

 

“I have a show there in a few days but then I'm coming back...”

 

“You should stay for a few days. See your family and stuff, I mean... unless you have something you have to come back for. But... it'd be good for you. Focus on what's important.”

 

Kris nods. “I do have something important to come back for.”

 

Adam recognises the look in Kris's eyes. He has woken up snuggled into Kris, those eyes looking down at him. He knows Kris is waiting for Adam to ask what it is that's so important he is coming back for. He can't imagine Kris having anything more important that his wife and family, so he doesn't ask. He doesn't need to ask and he doesn't need to know.

 

“You want to know what it is?”

 

“No.”

 

Kris smiles. “Really?”

 

Adam sighs, a little irritated. “If you want to tell me Kris then you should just tell me rather than trying to trick me into asking what you are coming back for.”

 

“I kind of love it when you get all rambly like this.”

 

“I'm so glad for you.”

Kris laughs. He actually laughs out loud. Adam has yet to see what is funny about any of this at all. All he told Kris was how much he hurt him and the only response he got was that Katy is moving back to Arkansas. How that is relevant, Adam doesn't know.

 

“You understand what I mean when I say that Katy is moving to Arkansas, right?” Kris steps closer, taking his hands out his pockets. “As in, Katy will be there and I'll be here.”

 

Oh.

 

“I think we both know that I really don't know that many people in L.A. Not enough people that would give me a reason to stay. In fact I only know one person who for me, is reason enough to stay here.”

 

Oh. Oh.

 

Adam laughs, because he thinks he might be understanding this now. He doesn't want to be presumptuous but he thinks that Kris is suggesting he wants to stay here so he can be with Adam. He keeps his mouth shut though because for all Adam knows in the time apart they have had Kris has met someone really amazing, amazing enough to keep him here. And that would be embarrassing.

 

“You know it's you right?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Kris tilts his head. “Okay?”

 

“Yeah. Okay... I mean, sure... stay.”

 

Kris looks confused and Adam feels a little confused because he isn't entirely sure what this conversation just confirmed. “Adam, you know what I'm telling you here right? What it is that I'm asking you?”

 

“Not a clue.”

Kris laughs and steps closer still. There is barely any space between them now and Adam really is okay with that because damn has he missed Kris so close to him like this.

 

“I'll spell it out; Katy and I are over. I'm pretty much 100% sure that I am in love with you. I'm an ass. It took me a whole year to figure it out that you really are the only thing that I want. I want to go back to that closet in the blackout and be so much braver than what I was. I want to do it all over again, but this time be honest. Because even though all that time I had with you was amazing, I can't help but think of all the time I wasted. All the time I was hiding away how I felt about you. How I forced you to hide how you felt about me. I'm an idiot. A huge, huge idiot.”

 

“You know I'm going on tour right?”

 

“So am I.”

 

Adam doesn't know why that matters and after everything that Kris just confessed to him, it's certainly not the coolest comeback he could have said.

 

“So...” Adam's initial instinct is to grab Kris and respond how he should have if he was less dorky and more cool about stuff like this. But he really isn't and he doesn't have any plans for the rest of the night or tomorrow and its the first thing he thinks of. “You want to go out on a date?”

 

Kris laughs loud and happy and he does what Adam is apparently incapable of doing. He crushes their body together and it feels so natural and right that Adam's body responds the only way it knows how. His arms crush around Kris, holding him so close and tightly, like he never wants to let go. “A date sounds amazing.”

 

After everything they have done together this seems like nothing. Adam has seen every inch of Kris's bare skin, he has seen the birth mark on Kris's hip bone, he has kissed Kris's lips red and swollen, so a date? A date is nothing in comparison. Yet, its the happiest Adam has felt for a long time.


End file.
